Its a long long long long time......
Have been busy with work, everyday trying hard to think of ways to make everything faster, trying to adapt to the new system. Trying hard to learn as much things as I can and I am also trying hard to clear my things.
Although sometime was quite tired with work but I have my happy moments too. My yec friends has never failed to make me laugh. Although sometime i may get scolding from them but it was all their care and concern for me.
Anyway really had a good time today. Had lots of fun chatting with everyone. I also pour out some of my unhappiness of someone. I was really glad that I am not the only one who gave such a comment but everyone too. Had so much time disturbing jason with michelle. After that we went to watch movie together.
Promise them I will go down tml after my work if I am not tired. Anyway really want to thank everyone for your concern, really glad to have all of you by my side to fight the battle with me.
Bye 2010, Welcoming 2011
It has been long time since i blog, have been busy with my work stuffs. Trying to learn many many things in the company. Anyway not very sure whether 2010 is a gd year for me.
Year 2010
Was very glad, that i found a good job before my graduation although it may be far ans sometime work quite late. I really love this job, love working with a few people there. After which was glad that I am able to take a few days leave for some of my important SYOG Full-Dress Rehearsal.
Was also very glad that I am able to participate in SSA SYOG Performance. Although it may be tiring for me but i enjoy the process. This group contain more of the FD people and yes, they may be difficult to manage but at least they give their best show on the actual day itself. During all the rehearsal we have lots of up and down. Would like to thank my trainer for their care and concern that they have given me. We were all so worried that we might not make it, but was so happy on the actual day that we actually did it so well and my tears really start flowing after the performance.
Can say i have a few struggles at the end of the year, somehow i really want to write a letter for Sensei but i want to write when i have more victory to report to Sensei.
Would like to thank all my friend who has made a difference in my life for 2010. I really feel like starting my life again for 2011. Am I ready to 4get everything?
Year 2011
It going to be a year where I want to score many victories. I am going to set my prayers very very soon. What I really want to achieve at the end of this year is, my YEC is able to perform better, hope to see more of my YWDs attending meeting, able to excel and perform well in my work, able to spend more time for gakkai activities.
I am feeling so down now, i dun want to pack my stuff, i want to stay where i am now, but i know it will nv come true. Anyway i am shifting to my aunt place this coming sun, i dun dare to pack my stuff, i feel very sad when i am to say bye bye to some of my stuff and also can't bare to leave this place. I am crying everyday.
Feeling so down this week, but luckily i got friends who is there supporting me. Would like to thank jinguang, belinda, desmond and benny. They have been helping me alot and thanks for staying by my side everyday.
Really hope everything will be better.
Having sleepless night, have been thinking lots and lots of things. I can't stop crying too.
I serious I don't know what I am doing, I agreed to something which I don't have it now. I really treasure all my friends and I know this is not good for me. It means i got more things to worry, I will have more headache, I will upset even more. This friend of mine I have been helping now, i really treasure this friendship, I will not let go. We have known each other since last few months of 2005, we have gone through alot alot until now. Seriously, back then I am not what I am now, I have grown up, this growing up process is because I have many many friends supporting me. They are like my families. This friend of mine treat me very good. And I am so glad that he finally woke up, at least he decided to take a step ahead. Therefore, I would try my all means to help him. Cause I dun wan anybody to follow my footsteps.
Anyway I am also going to set my resolution and I am working towards it. For this coming months, will spend my weekends working at famous amos. If I am ok with it, maybe I will continue.
My tears are flowing, I need a hug now. Hopefully I made the correct decision.
No mattar what happened, I am determined to change my friends life. Please don't stop me from what I am doing.
Recently I have a friend met into trouble. He is my best friends, know him for about 5 years. He has never fail to concern and take care of me. I feel that it is time for me to do the same to him too. Have been thinking of solution, it really upset me when i can't think of it. I have come out with a solution but will he accept it?
I have another friend but it seems to be further and further, when can i pull him back into the circles. I think I am a very weak person, I don't wish to loose my friends. When my friends got trouble I will cry, I will upset.
Bowling
The previous weekend, there was a bowling competition and fun bowl organise by CSC. At first, did not feel like going cause was feeling so tired, since everyone ask me to go so i go lor. Meet some of them for breakfast early in the morning. Reach there, they have 3 games of fun bowl 1st, enjoy cheering them and chatting. After the fun bowl, was ask to be the emcee for the later part. Omg, is so sudden, don't know how to reject it. This is totally not YEC events.
So, went through with siti the details, chatted awhile too. Get bully by Ken and Candice. Firstly ken ask me to play with him, i take the odd he take the even round. I rejected. In the end Candice say i take the even she take the odd. I rejected too. So, i quickly ran away. Maybe next time when it is not competition den play with them.
Seriously was so angry, it seems like the yec is doing the things, emcee, giving out of prizes, lucky draw. So where is the organiser?? After that, went to soka to subscribe the CL den we went to Tampines west cc for the cat show. Omg, all of them so bad, trying to scare me with the cat. But really had a fun day with them.
Last Sat, after work went out with Janet, had a very nice day with her. Laugh alot.
Last Sun, woke up early in the morning cause was suppose to meet li qi to discuss the Kenshu. Xue yun took cab and fetch all of us to SYC. Thanks Liqi for the nice breakfast. We discuss all the way from 9am to about 1 pm, den went down to bugis to meet jg. Accompany him to the chinese temple to get something. After that we had our lunch first before we head to the cc. It was raining heavily, therefore the tchoukball competition was cancelled last min and postponed to next week. Had a really fun talk, but unfortunately someone was meeting moody.
After that we went to have some drink and had lots of fun chatting. Great chat with Belinda, jg, hyder and kevin. After that jg accompany me home. Had a good chat with him in bus and also at my house void deck. I also realise that although we have been friends for so many years there is still lots of things I don't know. I am feeling really really upset. I cired, tell me how should I help. Yesterday I really can't slp, thinking thinking and thinking of solution.
I am really very tired.
Can't wait to have a outing with Belinda and Joanna. I miss you Joanna, I am really feeling very sad that you have left cc, i scared I can't control myself.
Thanks everyone of you for the birthday wishes, I am 1 year older again.
The day before my birthday received a surprise call from desmond while having my dinner with jg. Thanks desmond for the long distance birthday wish. We chatted for almost half an hour, i think his phone bill will explode. In the end while talking jg already finished his dinner.
Did not took leave so work during my birthday. But was not totally happy, cause the admin side do it anyhow de, in the end I had to help them clear. Like what eunice say, i think the lab people can also do admin and accounts. Really had so much fun working with the lab people.
Anyway we visited the chemistry lab too, really make me think back those are the things that I have used in the past during my poly days. Yesterday roselle wasn't around so when the chemistry things came I actually help to check. By the looking at the list I already know what is it. And really miss those days in poly doing lab work. Was happy to see the chemistry is almost ready which mean very soon we can do all the things ourself already.
Yesterday work until about 9pm, to finish up the plate we need to read on Friday. Then, Sat we are going at 8am to finish up reading sat plate and also do set up. Cause the miro lab people are leaving at 1pm, den we are all going to play bowling to practice our competition in Dec during our company dinner. Lol, I don't even know how to play. We have actually 3 teams. But only the micro side secretly went to practice.
Later going for Soka meeting, den after that meeting Belinda for shopping. Jg might join us later.
I am still very tired, not fully awake.
Do I feel Happier when I am 21st?
Yesterday had my advance 21st birthday celebration, I was happy to see all my friend, happy to chit chat with them, happy to receive their lovely present. I love all the presents given by them. Want to thank everyone for coming down, my poly friends, janet, jaclyn, xiang rui, wei lang, yu rong, jackson, cheng wai, poh siah, chu zen, faizah, nuan qin, mui hoon, nicholas, si jing, qi ming. My famous amos friends, an qi, lysiel and feeqah. My secondary school friends, yan teng, lay ting, koo jee. My Yec friends, belinda, bernice, veryln, jinguang, ying ying, cassandra, jia jin, alezec, andrew, hyder, choo kim, shi chang, kelvin, si jie & gf, alvin & gf and last but not least tsai ting. Thanks everyone for turning up.
Was so busy entertaining all my friends that I don not have the time to eat.
Well, i am turning 21 this coming tue, do i feel happy? Last time I use to think that i wan to be 21st cause it means freedom, i can do whatever things I like. I really want to be happy this special days, but there is always my family problem that i don't feel happy at all. I really thought of shifting out and start afresh my new life. I want to start from the bottom, you think I can. Somehow I really have no more confidence in guy.
Anyway thanks hyder for sending me home. Bernice send jinguang and kelvin back. Choo Kim and Hyder actually bully me while fetching me home. They want to throw me at the haunted house there, then after that they bring me to the changi prison there, so scary de. Then somemore want to bring me to dunno where. At least they send me home safely, and also help me to bring up all my present.
I think my work load has increase, more and more things to learn, more and more difficult things to handle. Somewhere i really can't absorb or take in. But will still try very very hard.
Yesterday try to finish my work early and reach home early but in the end i left at 3pm. Reach home almost 5pm, rest for awhile and quickly change my clothing cause got to attend a wedding dinner. Didn't intend to go but in the end was force to go.
It was actually my cousin wedding but is 1 year meet once during CNY but we didn't talk also de. It was held at Intercontinental and it was a very small wedding with only 10 tables cause the wife is from shanghai and they did once there already.
Today went for a short shopping with my sis after like so so so so long. Brought a dress for myself and also brought a shirt for my sis too. Before that my sis went with my aunt to get all the stuff for my birthday.
I am so touch they did so many things for me. Will I cry on that day.
Omg, I actually cry yesterday. I seriously dunno whether that person treat me as friend anot. It have been a few years but i dun feel that we are friends although this is what it has been say out from that person mouth. I am seriously upset over this.
Too many weakness
Recently, just started to know this person. I don't know if it is good to mix around with him/her. Sometime that person really made me upset, made me angry but I have been telling myself to 4get everything. It has been years, can i really put down everything? I am still trying everyday until this moment. When this person need a listener I lend him/her but in my mind i can't believe that person totally. People surrounding me ask me not be so close to her/him. But I really don't know how. Until now, i still have some chat with that person.
You made me upset, made me cry. I have sleepless night all because of you.
Shall talk about my work place since i have work there for almost 6 months....
Anyway my work task is increasing and the stress level is also increasing. Because I do not have any background in biology therefore I am starting afresh. Trying to absorb as many as I can. Anyway I work well with my colleagues, sometime we do joke around and when it comes to work we can be very serious. When company is growing we have to grow as well. We have just started renovating the chemistry lab. Our new chemist is here, he is really a funny guy dunno why whenever he start talking I will laugh.
Guess my work load is increasing therefore have been going home late everyday, even sat i can go home at 4plus 5 even though i can knock off at 1pm. Therefore has not been feeling well all this while, every night my nose is bleeding, but now lesser already.
Everyone say I have grown up, going to celebrate my 21st Birthday soon. Don't really intend to celebrate, but my sis and family has put in alot of effort, therefore I should play my part and be happy on that day. It also nice to ask all my friends to come, it seems like a good gathering where I can see different groups of friends.
I Miss you Joseph Lim
My dearest teacher left this world on 5th October 2010, leaving his wife and 2 kids. When I got this news I was terribly sad and could not accept the fact. I thought it was someone who are playing with me.
After that I started to think back in the past during my Secondary schools day. Although, i have not been going back have not been seeing him this past 4 years, but memories remains in my heart. Still remember how we use to laugh and fun together. He will always want sweets from me, but everytime i refuse to give to him.
Although he may be quite fierce at times, but he is really a nice teacher. He has been so healthy since i know him, how could such things happened to him. I remember, he is like rezal, everyday cycle to school.
On 5th October, he had a sudden heart attack in school in the morning. He is only 40 this year, I bet he still has lots of things not finished yet. Please leave peacefully. His kids is still very young, but I believe they are very strong.
Went to his wake on the 7th October after work with lay ting and some of her friends. I saw many teacher and his past to current students. I felt really touched, from here we can see how many of them loves him. I really feeling like crying, but I manage to control.
Manage to saw some of my friends and teacher too.
Mr Lim, we will always remember you.
I am one that treat friendship seriously. Like what I told Belinda, when Joanna did not stay YEC, I really cried infront of her. I got the feeling I will cry on that day and I guess I could not control. Really want to do something that she will remember us forever. If belinda one day would leave YEC, i will do the same thing too. I am so glad that not only I can do voluntarism but also it is a place where I can share my happiness and unhappiness.
10.10.10
Today is a special day, a day where i should be happy, but it don't turn out to be. 10 is actually my favourite number cause when I am young in my dream this 10 word will also appear.
This morning I actually went to have a short meet up with the SLC teacher, after that rush home and get myself dress up nicely, with make-up etc. After that rush out of my house to meet Chris, cause we are going there early to have briefing and also recee. After that we had our lunch at popeye. But I only ate 1/4 of the mashed potato, cause I also dunno why today dun have the appetite to it.
After that went back to help run the event, so we actually had to ursher the 5 married couples up on the capsule turn by turn. After that we actually went to the holding area for the MP for a rest 1st since there is air-con there. Also took min min to recee the whole place. After that we actually went up to the gather the couples and want them to queue up so that I can bring them now to the holding area but in the end it was a mess, they dun even want to listen to us.
When they went down, another thing happened again, so it e end I had read out the couples name, but I was so touched that Adeline came out to help me, and even people who i don't know. Thanks for helping.
After that received calls from min min and many many calls, the whole thing went wrong again. After the whole thing i was not happy at all, but thanks to some of them for their comfort. Did not had my dinner, cause no appetite again, so actually ate fruits for my dinner. Thanks for some of their concern keep asking me to eat, cause they scared i will faint.
But seriously when I was giving out the hearts, i was feeling giddy and almost black out, but I told myself I can't cause I have a important task. After the whole thing ended took the bus back to cc. On the way had a good talk with Joanna, after many many months. Had also a short talk with Min Min.
Thank You Min Min, Joanna and Belinda. 3 of you are the best that I have known you in cc. I got the feeling I will cry again because of you. I will miss you alot alot!
After that went to have a drink before going home. Thanks Kellie for sending me home.
It a long long time since i blog.
Still the same, have been busy with works. All the obstacles have not been over, hope that my prayers will stop all this obstacles.
Suddenly, my mine lost track of so many things. So shall just skip everything and talk about today.
Finally, Intergeneration games is over, although did not spend so many time on it but it put in some effort. Well, on our yec side was in-charge of some stations. Yesterday went down to the cc after work to print out some stuffs and prepare abit too. Was trying to arrange all the tables etc but did not see Mr Foo plan so in the end we gave up. So I actually went down cc at 7am, to help Madam Pang with it. All this will have to come with the youths, but if I were to call the YEC people to come down at 7am i think they will scream at me 1st, so decided to come on my own.
Later got the help from choo kim, alezec, natasha, hyder and Suriani. Thanks for everyone help I am able to set up the area by 8.30am.
I think Mr foo is old already can't remember what he have said. He actually ask me to do up the station card so I actually did it and I didn't know that he actually called rena to do the station card and in the end it became a double work. Even benny also keep quiet.
Overall, the whole thing went quite smoothly, with Judith and Adeline as our emcee. They did a great job. Really had lots of laughter with them. Of course had a good chat with some of my Yec people and also people like zone 4 people, ken, Zone 3 chairman. Thanks for all the nice nice chat. Thanks to Karmen for inviting me to his Zone 3 Hari Raya celebration.
After the whole thing, had lunch and then pack up, and of course we have alot of happy time taking picture and print it out from Adeline printer. Nice Nice. Thanks Natasha and Suriani for helping to pack up. After that went to the office to wait for Hyder to come.
Was so happy today cause I received a good news from someone. Can't wait for that day to come. Will it be my god sister or god brother?
Next few week of my weekends will be burnt out too.
2 Oct - Might go down to Zone 3 Hari Raya Celebration
3 Oct - Sing along session with my Soka friends
9 Oct - so far nothing
10 Oct - 10 10 Event, was task to wear nice nice, but I wasn't the one who are going to get married or renew my vow=)
Its a long long time since my last update.
Since I have been working in the company for 4 months, it time for me to talk about my work.
After working for 4 months, i think so far I has not regret joining this company, I have suffered, I have learn alot too. Sometime is not easy to work together with some of my colleagues. But i had alot of fun working with some too.
Whenever i did something wrong, I will get scolded but I have learn. My director always tell me this. My job routine is always the same. In the morning, will start to do my subculture and it will take about 3 hr for me to finish, it also depend on how many of the food sample that is doing salmonella test. After that i will spend some time to do all my documentation. That where there is food sample I will start to do sample book in for some sample first. What is sample book in?
When the food sample arrived, I will start to book in with their company, their sample description, their test method into the LMS system, well, it may seems easy but to remember few hundreds of company it really difficult. Every company has it own method, wanted to do their own test. It is really easy to make mistakes, if you forgot to do this certain test for them it means gone, complain will start coming in. If my section gone wrong, it means e other section also will do wrong, cause they follow what I have book in. This shows that my section is very very important. It also depend on how many samples we have on that day, if there are alot it will take me like 6hrs to complete it. After i finish my thing, i will help Jo in the sample set-up, learn abit while helping.
This few days was really a hectic for me, having bad headaches. Cause Pei yee our admin, suddenly did so many stupid things that received so much of complain. So now she is forbidden from answering the call, then now I am picking up most of the call while concentrating of doing my own things. Really cant concentrate much.
Anyway we will have 5 more people coming to work hope it really help us. Like what our director say she want us to end work on time and don't work until so late every night. If I am able to end work on time then I can do more things after work.
Until now, have yet to start our focus group meeting, got to do for my intergeneration game, my service learning. My commitment towards soka, my contribution etc. Still have so much things to do and I am really very tired now.
SSA Lean Walk 2010
Woke up 6am in the morning, and get ready for the Lean Walk organize by SSA which will be held at West Coast Park. So, we actually get a bus for those who want to take from Tampines. Before that meet faizah 1st den headed over to the HQ to wait for the bus to come.
I am so healthy today, I actually walk 5km, but i didnt know that the 5km is really very long. Really had fun walking with chu zen, leanna, si jing, mui hoon, nuan qin and faizah. Thanks for coming down early in the morning and walk with us.
After the walk we head of to IMM for our lunch while waiting for my mother to come.
I went to Malaysia just now to see doctor, cause my mother friend say the chinese doc very good. When there, whatever the doc say was true, so he actually draw my bone behind to tell me my bone is not straight and because of this actually causes all my body for not functioning well. So he actually put 3 needle on my back and the feeling is really very pain. He actually put 1 needle in 1st and he turn in, the feeling is like a screw being inserted into your bone and screw in, there is really sound coming out. After that i hardly can walk and was feeling very giddy, but after awhile it gone, but the pain is still there.
Really hope i can recover cause I want to be a healthy person.
I need a rest
My grandma is still not recovered yet, but there is still lots of things waiting for me to do. Beside working, have to come back and do all the housework and also have to brainstorm on project. Imagine Intergen event is coming on the 26th Sept, I am left with 1 month, but I have yet to touch any.
I think I do not have enough sleep cause I am having very bad headache this few days.
I am starting to miss everything of YOG. I should go and see one of the YOG competition too, if not don't know when will I have the chance to see it.
14 August 2010, the day where I will not 4get.
All of us were expected to reach TBSC at 10.30am. We got our Delta 4 t-shirts too from our trainer. Was so touched to receive the t-shirts with story behind it. All of us change into our new t-shirt. We started chanting for free weather, our victory for the night show but lastly we have to chant for the speedy recovery of one of our member in the fire grp. Due to too much inhale of the flame she is in hospital now and couldn't perform on that day.
After that we have lots of show line up for us. We watch the NDP show under Soka item, follow by our own performance on the 11th Aug, the last rehearsal. Following by that we have our KAH who perform for us a korean dance, it was wonderful. Lastly we have all the trainer sing us the YOG theme song. All their performance were great, it really touches my heart.
Have to thank also all the WD and MD for their support, all of them chant for us from 1pm-7pm. Thanks so much for all the chanting.
Soon, we have to set off and head to F1 pit cause there will be road closure so all of us have to reach there early. The most trouble thing is we have to go through the security, the security is very tight. Reach there 1 plus, had our nice lunch. They actually show us the video for the whole performances. After that all of us were ask to take a short nap. So we actually had our nap, we was a wonderful short nap. After that we had our dessert Ice Cream. Follow by our young lion and byakuren singing us a song. Then shortly we had our dinner and get ourselves prepared for our performance.
Before we went down to take our prop, the sky wasn't in good condition, so started chanting. Soon, we went down to take our prop and get ready for our performance, wanna thanks all the young lion and byakuren we cheering us. To be frank I was really really scared, i did not feel confident at all. Although I have perform Chingay twice, but this time is really different, the whole world is looking at us.
The moment when we step into the performing my heartbeat was beating fastly, but I chant in my heart is really our last show, no mattar what we have to do it.
Know what our result? We score victory. Especially the dragon head really did a good job, they managed to went up the slope and also drive slowly so that all of us are able to form the dragon body. When i saw the moment, my tears really drop, cause out of all rehearsal we had not perform so well.
Yes, Wei Hao say we scored 500%. Thanks everyone for putting up the wonderful show. But then It is really a very sad thing, we won't be back to CHIJ, Mandai cap, Marina Bay platform for our training and rehearsal again. We won't be able to meet our trainers so often. After this few months of practice, everything is worth it. I must say i nearly cried but i didn't cried out. I really miss all of them.
As a group we went for supper and chit chat but not all came. When one by one leave we hug each other, the feeling is really very very bad. Suddenly i don't feel like leaving them. When can we meet again?
Another sad thing is that my grandma is in the hospital, dunno when will she be recovered. But I want to thank my trainer for supporting me all this while despite all the struggles I have faced.
A VERY BIG THANK YOU EVERYONE!
I LOVE YOU!
Happy Birthday Singapore
Surprise that I am home? Got to look after my grandma at home cause she is sick and also I didn't help out in any of the National Day. Firstly cause wanna let the junior to experience it. Secondly cause I am very tired due to my SYOG preparation, all my rehearsal will clash with all the national day rehearsal etc. Maybe shall take a rest next year so that I can help them.
So happy, holiday today, no work for me. But tml will be back to work again. The next happy thing is that Wednesday I am on leave due to my SYOG last rehearsal, is a very important rehearsal which I must not leave. Lastly I am taking leave on Saturday which is the Opening Ceremony of SYOG.
Although my leg hurts after all the rehearsal but I will not give up. I am going to put up my best show on the 11th and 14th Aug. I will miss all of my friends & trainer in Delta 4.
Last 1 SYOG Rehearsal
Kind of miss everything now, miss all the time I had spent with them for this few months. Yesterday was my last second SYOG Rehearsal.
My trainer was awesome, never failed to provide us foods and sweets for every single training and they even made t-shirts for all of us. Feel bad if we don't need to fork out single cents.
On Saturday as usual went to work so i try to finish up my work quickly and left about 2 plus den i decided to meet them at the F1 pit cause i think by the time i reach TBSC they are leaving already. Reach there get ourselves change and get ready for our dinner. My grp member is like hungry ghost, keep eating non-stop. Dinner was not too bad. Soon after our dinner, we had our music run on our seat itself my counting aloud. Follow by that we are another music run but all of us stand up and starting to do the action on the spot. Actually was feeling quite nervous. After that we get ourselves prepared and went down to do warm up. Our costumes are really heavy and the prop is even heavier.
While queuing up for our turn to perform at the marina bay platform suddenly i felt very tired and having bad headache. But thanks to my trainer for the panadol and the water. Actually they wanted to replace me and ask me to rest but i insist on going down. Soon after it our turn, i really made it throughout until the very last moment where we have to run up very fast cause there is another performance. While running through halfway I almost wanted to give up. The Delta grp IC, Xi Yi wanted to help me to take the prop but I insisted of taking it myself. In the end Kenneth took away my prop, and Rui Ling too my helmet and my shirt for me. While Chu Zen accompany me. Thanks to all this people who have help me or take care of me.
I love you Kenneth and Rui Ling, thanks for being a good trainer of mine. Thanks for the encouragement along the way. I am so lucky to have known u all too.
I will make sure I will not fall Sick on the 11th and 14th, I will put up my very best show. I will continue to chant more and even more.
